always you
It was always you.
You in your steadfastness. You in your strength. You in your self-assured way.
How can this even be?
You have always been my dream. I chased so many other things in search of replacing you. But it was all for naught, because you, in your amazing way, just waited.
Waiting for me to heal. For me to see. To realize I have had all along what I was chasing.
I remember.
The night in the snow. You brought me ice cream.
The day we had Jamison and beer in the little sports bar after you helping me pick out a gun.
All the nights in the kitchen…
The talks.
The fights.
My belligerence. Your grace.
You stood firm- yet loving.
You loved me in the way I needed- even though it was not what I wanted.
You knew.
I needed to heal, to grow, to become who I was meant to be.
You have always been right (I know you love hearing me say that)… but you have.
You are the only man who I willingly submit my heart and my will to.
I had to lose you in order to truly find you… by finding myself.
You are my best friend… because you ARE a friend.
You know me and accept me, faults and all.
I am so thankful for you.