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the truth or the bumper sticker

“Do you want the truth or the bumper sticker?”
This is my deep question when people ask “how are you?”

Sometimes I wonder if they really want to know or if I just become a burden.

I have found that when things get hard those who say they are “for you” just disappear.

I do not understand why when I want something to work, it seems so much easier to just give up.

I shut down.

I think it’s just easier or less painful to be the one who leaves than to be the one who gets left. So I don’t risk it.

Self sabotage.

So, when you ask me how I am… Do you want the truth? Can you handle it?

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but did you die?

I recently bought a sweatshirt that asks this question. I absolutely love wearing it. I think because I see how many people walk around this amazing life we are given and simply complain. They just can’t seem to embrace the wonder of truly living. Maybe that is because most of us don’t truly live. We…

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perseverance

Sometimes it’s the things we don’t want to do are the things that change us the most. Letting go teaches us to trust. Not giving up gives us strength. Sacrificing shows us value. Saying no, sets a boundary and protects us. I am learning that the things I fear, can actually set me free in…

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unmerited

I bought a truck recently. I love this truck. It is the first vehicle I have ever owned and have not wanted or wished for something different. Ironically, this truck has caused me several issues since I bought it. It has needed repairs three times in three months. I was told if it were not…

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healing

It takes healing to be able to look at yourself and be completely honest about who you have been. With healing you realize that in some situations you really WERE the asshole. In some situations, you were an ASKHOLE (not listening to others and being completely stubborn in your ways). You can clearly see where…

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in the deep

Tormented. Deep in despair. I have been there and back at least one hundred times. The questions of why. The doubt of having any worth to anyone. The mirage of a normal life. A façade. Because deep inside there is a knowing that it is just a game. One where I have to put on…

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life is!

I had the honor of meeting an 83-year-old man who has been struggling with prostate cancer. What is so inspiring to me is that not only has he not given up on life but he’s opening two businesses and trying to write a book which is how we connected. He wanted my guidance on it….